Hoorah!

I guess we're supposed to believe that every thing is alright. There are no problems. Don't worry everything is fine. The stock market is soaring. It's a great time to invest. Hardly anybody is losing their homes. A very small percentage of the population really. Never has there been a better time to invest in real estate. Employment is on the rise too! Believe THEM! Why would THEY lie? It must be true if THEY say it is.
 The war is going quite well. Excellent in fact. Fantastic. The ratio of enemies to allies killed is very agreeable. It's those smart bombs I guess. They are so damn.........smart. Able to target individual "terrorists" inside their homes and blow up the building before the "terrorists" can escape with their young. As you know, these heathen offspring would eventually grow up to be savage "terrorists" themselves. Eliminating these "future terrorists" is vital to our National Security AND the security of our nation................ummmmm.............yeah...............These "smart bombs" are smart alright. So precise that the troops themselves have been able to focus their attention on more important things like teaching the children music, with patriotic songs such as "Phuck Iraq" and "We are the Mongrels."  The soldiers have been able to concentrate more on eliminating the evil "terrorists" goat herds and puppy dogs, which any real American knows are only used to smuggle WMD anyway.
A truly humanitarian effort is underway which accurately depicts the ideas of our founding fathers. Believe it! It's true! It's all true!
Public education is soaring (like the stock market) to unimaginable heights. We're almost not in last place anymore!
A recent poll in the "news" shows that 10% of the 22% of people surveyed are 15% smarter then 8%  of people who were not surveyed. This CLEARLY shows an upward trend when the graph is positioned so that the bottom is positioned at the top. Indeed, any true American with their elite mathematical skills would never question these figures. We are, as Americans, inherently aware of the FACT that two PLUS two is five, and we are always ready to MULTIPLY the number of bombs we drop in order to DIVIDE your country in two and SUBTRACT anyone who isn't of EQUAL mind.